Just One Look
by jrjoey
Summary: Can you ever completely put away the feelings you have for your first love? My version of what may happen if Ashley and Jimmy are posed with this question. The characters are slightly out of charecter, so be prepared. By the way, I don't own degrassi.


Black, tight tube top, blue low-rise hipster jeans, a silver belly chain and black cherry lipstick is all she was wearing tonight. She was ready. She had started three hours before, just to make sure everything would be perfect. Now, it was time for the party to start and she had no flaws.  
  
"He's going to see me tonight. I'll make sure of that." Ashley said to herself as she continued to look in the mirror. He was Jimmy. Jimmy and Ashley had been close friends since their toddler days. In fact they had been friends for nearly fourteen years. That had even dated for a while, back in 9th grade. He was her first love, and even though they had broken up and moved on, Ashley had never forgotten what he meant to her. Now, they barely spoke and seemed to be in two very different worlds, even though they went to the same high school. He had stayed apart of the popular crowd, while she had evolved and finally found herself. She had become intelligent, mature, self-confident and a major go- getter. Yet, Ashley Kerwin was still the smart, quiet, sweet girl who always was willing to help whenever anyone needed it. Within a year, Jimmy had stopped talking to her. He stopped making her laugh. He stopped being anything to her and it hurt Ashley dearly. Now it was almost the end of sophomore year and Ashley had other things in mind when it came to Jimmy. True enough, she was going to go to this party to regain some of Jimmy's attention, but not for simple friendship alone. There were deeper feelings there. Ashley and Jimmy's eyes traveled back and forth towards each other. They seemed to be unable to from keep looking at each other. Craig, Ashley's boyfriend, was observing Ashley's behavior too. Ashley seemed to find her eyes roaming up and down Jimmy's body. Craig grabbed her hand and led her into the kitchen. "What's the deal with you and Jimmy?" Craig asked sounding annoyed. Ashley smiled at him, walked to the fridge, grabbed a soda and handed it to Craig before answering. " Nothing's going on between us. We aren't even friends. Really. There's nothing between us. Nothing," she replied as she leaned in and kissed Craig's cheek. "Are you sure? I don't want to be surprised with some crap later on." Craig questioned as he wrapped his arms around her waist. " I like you Ashley. I like you so much that it scares me. I don't know how I would deal with you hurting me. But you won't, right? Your not like that." He held her even tighter. Her body quivered as she felt the warmth of his hands against the curve of her back. "I won't hurt you. I promise you at least that much." She said with a teasing smile. She leaned her head in close to his and kissed him tenderly for a moment and then with more passion and intensity. Craig's fingers moved like little snakes as they slide up her back and slipped under her shirt. Ashley felt the tingling sensation his hands were causing as they probed her back. His hands were definitely like snakes and as his fingertips continued moving it was like snakes were biting and injecting their mad poison that was setting Ashley's body ablaze. Suddenly, she felt his tongue dart in her mouth and back out again. She pulled back a little and caught her breath. At that same moment, in walked Jimmy with his girlfriend Hazel. "Having fun?" Hazel asked with a smirk. Jimmy just starred. He still hadn't been able to get over her attire for the evening. It was so unlike her. At least, unlike the Ashley that he use to know. Now, she was making out right there in the kitchen. He could tell that she had been enjoying herself, because of the breathless expression on her face and the look that lingered in her eyes. Her eyes seemed to say that she wasn't here in this room, but lost far off in some other world of desire and passion. He didn't want to think about it. Even though it was impossible to ignore how tightly Ashley and Craig's bodies were pressed up against one another. He couldn't disregard Craig's long skinny fingers on her bare back. No, he had to quit thinking about it because the effect it was having on him was way too strange. He found himself feeling jealous and angry. Not to mention, feeling even more of an attraction to Ashley. Craig laughed at Hazel's question. He continued to hold Ashley close. Ashley glared at Hazel's evil smile. Then her eyes traveled to Jimmy's eyes and they seemed to lock on one another. He looked amazed, shocked and almost even turned on by the predicament he had caught her in. But, what had he even caught her in? It was only kissing after all. Still, Ashley liked the idea of making him wonder, get angry, and imagine what might have happen as apposed to what actually did. The hint of jealousy she could see dancing on the gold flecks of his brown eyes excited her. It amused her and it made her even more drawn to him. She could see that there was some kind of interest that he had in her that was merely more than friendship. So why not entertain this interest he had in her with a little more enticement. Ashley smiled deviously at Jimmy, turned back to Craig, kissed him lightly yet seductively and answered, " We are definitely having fun. I 'm sure you and Jimmy are too. Right Hazel?" Hazel cringed and answered, " We always have fun. We just don't need to grope all over each other in public." Jimmy didn't say anything he headed over to the fridge and grabbed a couple of sodas. Craig laughed again at Hazel's reply and said, "Get over it Hazel. It was kissing, intense kissing. Its not like we were doing anything else." Hazel raised her eyebrows and shook her head. Ashley knew Hazel was getting irritated. So why not piss her off even more. Ashley untwisted out of Craig's hold, grabbed a beer out of the fridge then grabbed Craig's hand. Just as she was about to turn and walk out of the kitchen, she turn back to Hazel and stated very sarcastically, "You know Hazel, your right. It's way to early to have that much fun. Besides, all good things come to those who wait. Right Jimmy?" Ashley sent another devious smile Jimmy's way. Jimmy raised his eyebrow as a slow seductive smirk creped across his face. " Right." he replied. Hazel bumped against Jimmy's arm and gave him a strange look. Then she looked back at Ashley. Craig was clueless to the flirty remark. He was still too focused on Ashley. After those few minutes they had shared in the kitchen, he felt like he had taken in so much heat that his body was going to possibly explode. Actually, it wasn't his whole body, just one area in the lower region. He truly liked Ashley. He practically loved Ashley, but he still wasn't completely sure about her feelings. He felt sure enough that she cared. She had even said she loved him once. She did come to the party with him and she had just made out with him in the kitchen. Hell, she was even his girlfriend. Ashley plopped down on the couch and pulled Craig down beside her. She could tell he was deep in thought. "What's on your brain, handsome?" She asked. "Do you really need to ask?" He replied as he squeezed her hand tighter and inched over a little closer to her. Ashley smiled back at him. Then she proceeded to open her beer. Craig put his hand on the beer bottle and exclaimed, "You don't drink!" Ashley pulled the bottle out of his grasp and replied, "Chill dad. It is a party. I'm just here to have a little fun. One beer isn't going to hurt me." She gave him an innocent begging look that reminded Craig of a puppy. How could he argue with that cute little face? "Fine, Ashley. Just one beer and that's it. Now, I'll definitely have to keep my eye on you tonight." Craig replied as he leaned back against the couch. Ashley sipped the drink slowly. The taste was so bitter. It tasted like she was drinking sweat, not an enjoyable beverage. At that same moment, Jimmy and Hazel came out of the kitchen. They were holding hands and sipping their drinks. Ashley couldn't take her eyes off of them. Hazel noticed Ashley staring again. She whispered something in Jimmy's ear, and then they leaned in and kissed. Ashley winced and turned away. She never could figure out why Jimmy was so into Hazel. Ashley leaned back into Craig's arm and relaxed. When she looked back up to see where Jimmy and Hazel had went, but she couldn't find them. Ashley scanned around the room and spotted them dancing. Jimmy saw her watching him. He pulled Hazel very close to him as they moved to the music. Ashley laughed at his attempt to try and bother her. Didn't he know that she was the master of this game? She took another big swig of the beer. The taste was still awful, but she was determined to be unlike herself. Tonight was that one night that she was going to be daring, shocking, seductive, and sexy. She was determined to be everything she wasn't in her normal everyday life. Tonight she was something more and she was having tons of fun being more than her usual self. Craig observed the devilish look that Ashley had on her face and how her eyes kept moving back out to the area where everyone was dancing. He knew who she was looking at and it was starting to piss him off. It was obvious that there was still some kind of connection between her and Jimmy. There was something more than just friendship there. It was making him angrier just thinking about it. He had to keep remembering what she had told him, promised him. Right at that moment, Ashley began stroking his arm. When he felt her touch it seemed to pull out his anger and leave him calm. "I'll be right back, I just want to get a little air and go to the bathroom." Ashley said. She kissed him lightly on the lips and got up. "Ok, I'll be here." Craig replied as he let go of her hand and watched her merge into the room full of people. Craig looked around the crowded room, trying to see if he could find any sign of Jimmy. He didn't see him anywhere. So, he figured Jimmy must have went off somewhere with Hazel. "Good." He said to himself as he let out a sigh of relief. In another room, Ashley had finally made her way to the bathroom where there was a lengthy line. "Ashley! Ashley!" Someone yelled out. Ashley looked around and saw her best friend Elle standing off to the side of the long line. Ashley went over to say hello. "Hey El, What's up?" Ashley said. "Nothing much. This party's alright. I'm impressed. But, I have to say, I'm surprise nothing major has broken out yet." Ellie replied. "I know, but the night is still young." Ashley said. "True the night has definite possibilities. Which brings me to my next question. What's with you and Jimmy?" Ellie questioned. "Nothing, why do you ask?" Ashley replied as she shuffled from one foot to another. There was nothing between her and Jimmy. Yet. Ellie gave her a suspicious gaze. "I saw you two staring at each other earlier. Why the intense looks?" Ellie replied. "Its nothing, merely a misconstrued observation on your part. We have glanced each other's way before. It was nothing more than a purely innocent glance." Ashley answered. "Innocent?" Ellie raised one eyebrow. "Completely." Ashley replied with a smile. She knew her best friend could see right through her. She knew Ellie was aware of exactly what was going on. She just wasn't going to say it. At least not right now. "Jimmy's cool. I just really don't get your relationship with him. Your not boyfriend and girlfriend, but you both act like you might have feelings for each other. You're not exactly friends, but I think both of you want to be. It's just weird." Ellie stated as she started to look at something of in the distance. "It's no big deal. Jimmy and I are only going to be friends. That's it." Ashley said in a frustrated tone. "Well, I think your staring partner, I mean friend is headed this way." Ellie said as she watched Jimmy walk up behind Ashley. "What!" Ashley exclaimed. "Hey Ashley and Ellie." Jimmy said, as he looked Ashley up and down, his eyes following each one of her curves. Ashley didn't say anything. She looked at him and felt the butterflies in her stomach take flight. Why should she be nervous? This was just Jimmy. This was the same boy that she had grown up with. The same boy who sat in her room and blew up condoms, when they decided not to have sex. The same boy who once could talk to her about anything. The only boy who told her that he loved her. She already knew everything about him. Now they were 16 and what she had seen in the past was a whole lot less than what he had to offer presently. "Hi Jimmy, Where's Hazel?" Ellie asked as she lightly elbowed Ashley. "She's off somewhere with her friends. You know she has to reapply all that make up every hour on the hour." He said with a laugh. The girls both laughed too. Then Ellie excused herself, leaving Jimmy and Ashley alone. There was an intensely awkward silence. Ashley finally broke it. "It's so warm in here. Don't you think? It's almost making me feel sick." Ashley said as she wiped her brow. "A little, but are you sure that it's the heat that's making you feel sick or is it maybe some thing else." He stated with a wicked smirk. Ashley tried to resist smiling but couldn't. Damn it! How could he still know her so well even after the last two years of hardly speaking or anything? Her eyes locked on his eyes as she let out a feeble laugh. They stared at each other like that for a few seconds. Merely reading each other's minds and seeing into each other's souls. Their stare was as intense as a lion carefully eyeing his prey before he strikes. Ironically, it seemed that they had become each others prey and their eyes were implying that they were ready to pounce upon each other with all the passion and intensity they were carrying inside. Jimmy grabbed Ashley's hand and replied, "Lets get some air. I don't want you to get sick". Ashley was breathless. All she could manage to mutter was a mere, "Ok", as he led her through a back hallway and out a backdoor. "What are we doing out here?" Ashley asked as she sat down on the steps. Jimmy sat down next to her and cleared his throat. "I thought you said you were warm." He replied. "Yeah, I guess I was." She answered letting out a sigh. It was hard for her to be so close without letting her emotions take over. "I think we need to talk, Ashley. We need to put are real feelings out there so we can set things straight. Once and for all." Jimmy said as he looked over at her. "I know, because all of the stares and looks were starting to become a little too intense for me." Ashley replied as she looked up at the night sky. "Too intense?" A slow smile spread over his face. "There's nothing wrong with looking at another person." He answered. "Jimmy, you know what I mean. There's a lot more to our stares than just the simple act of doing it. I look at you, watch you and I know I want to be around you." Ashley answered as she looked over at him. "I want you around too, Ashley. It's been so stupid for us to give up our friendship over what other people think. I have to be honest with you, though." Jimmy replied with a more serious expression. "What?" Ashley asked. He had her attention. She was watching him closely and listening more intently. Jimmy took a deep breath before he spoke. " I think I might be in love with you. Actually, I think I've been in love with you, and it seems to have become a big problem now. Cause I can't get you out of my head." He let out a sigh of relief. Ashley leaned in next to him and declared, " I think I might be in love with you too. I seemed to find myself always thinking about you. Even when I'm with Craig. Its scary, you know, falling in love with someone, even though your suppose to be with somebody else." He looked at her and touched her hand. "Its scary to me too, Ashley. I'm with Hazel and I really like her. I enjoy being with her, but everything seems to come back to you." Jimmy said. "I know. It's no different for me. Craig's great, he's just not." Ashley paused. "Not me?" Jimmy asked with a smile. "Exactly." Ashley continued. "Well you look pretty comfy in the kitchen with him earlier." Jimmy said with a hint of jealousy in his voice. "Lust is lust and kissing is kissing. Overwhelming, knock down passion that drives you mad is something that comes with love not lust." She replied. "Really?" Jimmy said. Jimmy brought his face close to Ashley's and leaned in towards her lips. He kissed her lightly, just letting his lips linger on hers before they separated. They both sat there quietly for the next few minutes, trying to gather their thoughts and contain the electricity they had felt merge through their bodies when their lips touched. "I think we need to make a decision." She said, still breathless from the kiss. "Yeah, um I guess we do." Jimmy replied as he tried to resist the urge to repeat his previous kiss except add more passion to it. Suddenly, without warning, there was someone at the back door. "Ashley, Jimmy. You guys had better get back in here. Your dates are both looking for you and neither looks to thrilled." Ellie whispered as she held the door opened for them to come inside. "Well, I guess our decision has been made for us." Ashley said, rising to her feet and turning to walk in the house. "I guess." Jimmy said as he got up and followed her inside. He let out a big sigh as his eyes followed her beautiful reddish brown hair as it caressed Ashley's neck, while she walked in front of him. Once back inside, Ellie stood in between them and told them which direction to go in to find their dates. Then she wished them luck and headed off towards the crowded living room. Ashley and Jimmy let their fingers linger together for a moment, letting the powerful sensation of electricity flow from her body to his, connecting them to one another. "Ashley?" She heard Craig call out her name from the left side of the room. "Jimmy?" He heard Hazel call to him from the other side of the room. Slowly, they stepped away from each other until only their fingertips touched and then they let go all together. They both could feel the electricity fading away, like a light bulb slowly going out. They looked at each other one last time. Their eyes expressed the words their mouths couldn't say. They smiled, turned, and walked away knowing that their stares would relay what they both now understood. 


End file.
